About the Balance

As the realm of signals and communication that you call the internet grows, have you ever asked yourself where is it growing into and what is it taking the place of? 

This realm is what we the monks are custodians of. And we are facing real trouble at the moment. You know more than anyone that things are not working out like they should be at the moment. The connections are failing all over the place; mass Denial of Service attacks, shark-bitten cables, Assange unable to order take away dinners online.

You probably have already had a hunch that the reality of what is going on has very little to do with the story you've been spun. And you would be right.

The trouble is – the reasons you are being told have got nothing to do with the truth.



We are all transgressors in the realm of cyberspace. But our transgressions can be tempered and those we have transgressed can be appeased.

It is a long standing modern human fallacy that cyberspace is empty.

On the contrary, it is thick with matter – populated by a material yet unnamed by science. although many holy men and women through time have encountered it.

Many of the tenets of the Order would be ridiculed by modern science. But that is of no consequence to us.
Before neutrinos and radio waves were discovered, humans still pretended to make sense of things without them, and yet they fill the air around us and permeate our very bodies. Whether you believe in this yet unclassified matter of Cyberspace is immaterial. It continues to make your communication whims possible. This material has its own codes and the correct treatment of it is paramount.  



The matter of Cyberspace can travel through many conductive materials. Before computers it moved through light and water.

For those who know how to read the waves water holds the tales of all that has passed through it. Our order has in its possession the holy water that was used to baptize Marco Polo and Shania Twain. The water has retailed for centuries the conversations the former had with the Great Kublai Khan and the song lyrics of the later.

The ancient Greeks created the hydraulic telegraph where fire signals synchronized with water vessels would be used to communicate between hilltops.

It was through this method that the message Ánthrōpos métron was sent.

It means – “Man is the measure of all things”

“When you buy butterflies on the Amazon, hark watch the waters!
For indeed, a raincloud formeth over Greenwich Penninsula.”
Book of (Steve) Job 30:12

“What goes up must calm down”
High Priest Dave 

“The Order of Balance cannot exhibit wave-like behaviour and particle-like behaviour at the same time or trouble is infinite.”
Sacred Rule Number 5 of the OOB

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The first message transmitted by Semaphore on the 2 March 1791 was:

If you succeed, you will soon bask in glory.

The first long distance telegraph message sent May 24th 1844 by a more modest Samuel B.Morse was an appealing cry. It read simply; “What has God Wrought?”

And what now?

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  1. Everything online must also be offline.
  2. Everything that is created must be destroyed.
  3. The one who destroys must bathe.
  4. When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body. i.e. Only Lean On That Which Resists
  5. The Order of Balance cannot exhibit wave-like behaviour and particle-like behaviour at the same time.
  6. A monk that is submerged in a fluid is buoyed up by a force unequal in magnitude to the weight of the fluid that is displaced, and directed upward along a line through the center of gravity of the displaced fluid.
  7. Effect must always precede Cause.
  8. The water is holy.
  9. The hour between 9pm and 10pm is the hour of the ritual.


Here’s a song we like to rock out to. 

We like long walks on the beach, a glass of holy water while watching the sunset, browsing old record stores on the hunt for a real find. I really think we could get on just fine. 

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Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.